Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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