I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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