her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
