Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
