I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
