Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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