I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
