One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
