Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
