so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
