yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
