Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Panties = found
Randomize
