If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
