i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
