I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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