Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
