I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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