I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
