Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize