she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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