respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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