she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
