Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize