okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
