took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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