LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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