i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
