So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
