Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
accomplished twins. life is a go
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
