Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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