come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
