Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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