yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize