we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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