My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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