Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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