Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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