I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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