apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Randomize
