I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Everything about him screamed your future.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
