I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
