I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
