i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
