all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
