I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
