Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We are two peas in an std pod
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
