if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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