U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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