He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
