bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Watching her eat just hurts me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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