i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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