just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
