You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize