Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
