He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Green mimosas i think yes
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
