If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
