How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
