Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
