Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize