you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
