I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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