I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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