do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize