I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
