Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
