so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
