He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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