creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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