so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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