she smelled like a LAN party
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
