What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
