Dual....:-)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
