Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
