I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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