hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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