the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
no you cant smoke seaweed
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Still dying that you shit outside
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize