thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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